


The Padawan that might have been

by litra



Series: Episode snippets [10]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode Related, Gen, How things might have gone, Jedi, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Time Travel, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:51:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra
Summary: While waiting for Ezra to complete his trials in the Lothal temple, a padawan appears, a version of Ezra that might have been...





	The Padawan that might have been

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by Children of the Force by HLine and podficed by Reena_jenkins, which I highly recommend. It is worth listening to every minute of it.

"Nothing and everything."

"I don't know what that means."

"I know, but that's what my master told me." Kanan muttered to himself.

He waited. It had been easy to meditate outside, with Ezra wandering around the rock that marked the temple. This was a lot harder. Even though the force was glowing all around him, it was the kind of intense that came with lightsabers and prophecies, not good dreams. Kanan had spent so long pushing the force away. He had accepted it now, but, well this was the first time he'd set foot in any of the temples since before his master had died...

Kanan let out a breath, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. Meditating would be easier then just waiting but it wasn't technically necessary. He couldn't just leave... He wondered if his coms would work, just having someone to talk to would be nice... The stoic certainty was one part of the Jedi Master routine that he definitely hadn't mastered. He closed his eyes and tried again to reach out to the force.

"Master?"

Kanan startled back to himself. The single word had been spoken in the low tone that wouldn't have disturbed a real trance, but It was Ezra and that made all the difference. He turned to the doorway, already smiling, except it wasn't Ezra standing there. Well, it was, but...

This Ezra had his dark hair clipped short, the start of a padawan braid only a few inches long hanging behind his ear. There was only a single white bead decorating it. His clothes too, had changed. He was wearing the basic tunic of a padawan, a training sabor hanging from his belt. His body language was hesitant, hands clasped in front of him, nothing like the brash cocky kid Kanan knew.

The kid bit his lip, glancing at Kanan again from under his lashes. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but you are a Jedi, aren't you?"

Well, he had wanted someone to talk to. This kid was light, that much was obvious, and the force must have brought him here for a reason. Maybe this version of Ezra would act like a real padawan should.

"Yes, I am. Come, sit with me." He gestured to the space in front of him. 

The padawan still hesitated, "It's just that you're not wearing the Jedi robes..."

Kanan rolled his shoulder, letting his armor settle into place. It was true that he was wearing his normal spacer's gear. "I haven't worn the robes in a long time, that doesn't stop me from being a Jedi." If that had been the case he'd have vanished from the force that first night after Order 66. 

The padawan looked at him for another long moment before sinking to the floor in the classic meditative pose, the one Ezra couldn't hold for more than five minutes. He was quiet. If Kanan hadn't known his Ezra so well, he might not have noticed the way he traced the seams of his leggings or was deliberately controlling his breathing to make it seem calm.

Well, it was clear that nothing was going to happen if he didn't start it. Kanan cleared his throat. "Do you know who I am?"

The padawan glanced up at him, and shook his head. Then he flinched. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name." His shoulders hunched around his ears.

"That's alright. My Name is Kanan Jarrus, and I'm not actually a Master. How about you?"

"Ezra Bridger, Padawan to Mace Windu of the Jedi Order," He made the formal sitting bow of a junior padawan to a knight.

Well, at least Kanan knew he'd gotten something right, even if everything else about this situation was off kilter. Honestly, Mace's Padawan? It wasn't that he thought his grand-master was a bad choice... And they were still in the same lineage, but... Kanan released his jealousy into the force. This was a vision. His Ezra was still on his trial. It was just a test.

"A pleasure to meet you padawan Bridger. I have to say I wasn't expecting to run into anyone else down here."

"I'm sorry," the padawan said again, ducking his head.

Kanan sighed, when Ezra apologized it was normally like yanking teeth, that or sarcastic as hell. If nothing else had clued him in the way the kid was acting would have been a big giveaway. 

"You don't need to apologise. I'm just waiting for my Padawan to return from his trial. I could actually use the company."

"You- You have a padawan?" The kid asked glancing up again. There was a light in his eyes, curiosity maybe. Kanan nodded. 

"I do. We've only been together for a little while though, and well, I'm kind of worried about him. I hope I can teach him what he needs to know, but I've never taught anyone before." He lifted his hands offering it to the force. 

Now the Padawan was staring at him. "You, you're actually worried?" his voice was caught between awe and horror.

"Sure, I may be a Jedi, but I'm only human."

Padawan Bridger looked down at his hands. He had given into his nervousness and was twisting the hem of his robe between his fingers. When he started chewing through his lip Kanan thought it was time to prod.

"Why are you here?"

"I- I didn't mean to come." He glanced up and Kanan could tell he was about to apologise again. Kanan raised an eyebrow, and offered an encouraging smile. "I just. I was reading up on the division treaty for Master Windu. It's the first mission we're going on together and he only took me on as his Padawan because Master Yoda said he should, so I wanted to show him I can be a good Jedi, but..."

"But?" Kanan asked gently.

"Well, I... It was a lot of stuff about the clone war and the division of course, and I--" He glanced up at Kanan and this time there was fear in his eyes. Fear of punishment or of getting the answer wrong or getting kicked out he wasn't sure.

"I don't understand," Bridger finally settled on, "And I know the masters would tell me to meditate on it, so I did, and then I opened my eyes and found myself here." He was gripping the hem of his robe with both hands, hard enough that this knuckles were turning white. Bridger didn't seem to notice.

Kanan rubbed at his beard, trying to unpack what he'd heard. Bridger was Mace's Padawan, and obviously they were both Jedi. The clone wars had happened, but what did he mean by the division? And the way he mentioned other masters, the way he was dressed, it didn't sound like he was on the run...

"Well, where were you before?"

"The room of a thousand fountains?" 

Plenty of Jedi had once meditated there, when Kanan had been a youngling, and yet Bridger made it a question.  To be fair Kanan was questioning it too. The temple was gone, the room of a thousand fountains with it.

"Well, this is the Lothal Temple. It's safe, at least for the moment. The force must have had a reason for bringing you here. Maybe we can figure it out together."

For the first time Padawan Bridger actually held Kanan's eyes. "I'm not sure I should. I mean no offence, but I don't know you, or which side you're on."

"What side of what?" Kanan was burning with curiosity, but he tried to keep his tone light. Wherever this kid came from it sounded like a world where the Jedi had survived. He couldn't see that as anything but a good thing.

"The division." Bridger said as if it was obvious.

"What's that?"

Bridger gave him a sarcastic look that would have made Ezra proud.

"Pretend it's an exam." Kanan suggested, "You were just studying it, right?"

Bridger shifted for a minute, then straightened his back and spoke in a clear educated voice that was pure Coruscant. 

"The Division took place four months after the official end of the Clone War--"

Kanan held up a hand and Bridger paused. "When and how did the Clone Wars end?"

Bridger licked his lips, then took a breath and answered. "The Clone Wars was declared officially over early in 7958 CDC with the assassination of Count Dooku by then Jedi Knight, Quinlan Vos. Following the very public assassination, many mid-rim planets sued for peace, or joined the delegation of neutral systems. Those that maintained separatist policies and alliances were divided as to who should lead, ending in a division between the forces of General Grievous, the Sith known as Maul, and the count's former apprentice, Asajj Ventress and her lover the fallen knight Vos. While technically over, fighting remained ongoing on several planets including Mandalore for up to two months. General Grievous was eventually cornered and caused his ship to explode rather than be taken alive. Maul is assumed to have fallen during the siege of Mandalore, but no body was ever recovered. Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos remain on the Jedi watch list, their current location unknown."

The Padawan glanced at Kanan, suddenly unsure if his answer was acceptable, even though he'd been speaking as if he'd been reading from a textbook.

Kanan slowly nodded. He had heard of Knight Vos, but he'd never heard of any assassination attempt. He was surprised the council would approve a mission like that. Jedi weren't meant to be assasins, not even the shadows. Then again it seemed to have ended the war five or six months earlier then Kanan remembered and unless Bridger just hadn't gotten to it yet, it didn't sound like Order 66 had happened either.

"And the Division was four months later?"

Bridger jumped straight back into his earlier recitation, "Four months, yes. During those four months it had come to light that the Jedi council was not ignorant of Quinlan Vos's actions. The senate ordered the Jedi to turn over all their records for an impartial audit. The Order refused on the grounds of being a sovereign nation. 

"There was a lot of debate about whether that status meant we, the Jedi, were truly a part of the Republic, if it meant we weren't beholden to the same laws. Before anything could be decided certain footage was leaked, showing that both Master Obi-wan Kenobi and Knight Anakin Skywalker were present during the meeting when Knight Vos was given his assignment. 

"It was at this time that Anakin Skywalker and former Jedi Ahsoka Tano broke the siege of Mandalore, and escorted several members of the Mandalorian high council to Coruscant, along with several captured leaders of the terrorist groups Black Sun and Deathwatch.

"Anakin Skywalker admitted to knowing about the mission in an impromptu interview soon after he arrived. That combined with his company encouraged rumors that he was leaving the Jedi order, or had possibly already been kicked out. He returned to the Jedi Temple, and spent three days in a closed session debriefing with the council. At the end of the third day he left the temple, seemingly for good. 

"The next day Anakin Skywalker gave a press conference stating that he supported the assassination because it put an end to the war. He also stated that he had voluntarily left the Jedi order and was married to the Senator for Naboo, one Padme Amidala. He went on to say that the Jedi had let the war happen by letting the senate, the council, and tradition dictate their actions, and that he wasn't going to let that happen to him. 

"Skywalker let it be known that he intended to train his two soon to be born children and that he would train anyone else with force ability that came to him, even if the Jedi had turned them away. He said he would accept any Jedi who wanted to leave the order and join him."

Bridger paused, taking a breath. His eyes danced over Kanan's face. For his part Kanan knew he wasn't hiding his reaction. He was enrapt. It was half Cresh tale, half war report. Stark detail beside events that were too big to be anything but Scisum. Had Skywalker even realized what he was doing? If he failed he would be labeled fallen at best. If he succeeded... 

When Kanan didn't say anything Bridger went on in a quieter voice. "The council didn't make any official reply, but I looked through the archives and over the next two months, over half of the knights and masters who fought in the Clone War were removed from the rosters.  Two months later Senator Amidala retired, supposedly for maternity leave, but her name was on the paperwork submitted to the senate declaring the new force tradition as separate from the Jedi and immune to prosecution under religious law.

"Since most of the Clones went with them, no one wanted to pick a fight. The only people they attacked were the Hutts and pirates and things like that. The Council has tried to negotiate twice. The first time they drew up a basic non-hostility treaty. The second time Obi-Wan Kenobi left the order."

Bridger was looking down at his hands again. Kanan didn't know what to say. It was so much to process. A wave of might-have-beens that this kid was somehow caught up in. A part of him wanted to interrogate Bridger for all the details he could give, but no. The force wouldn't send him here for that. 

"Well kid, that's quite a story."

Bridger looked at him, his nose wrinkled up in confusion. "It's not a story. I was born the day Skywalker made that press conference. The temple found me and took me in less then a year later. It's history."

Kanan nodded, "I don't think you're lying, but it's not the history I know. I was a padawan in the clone war. I--" His throat stopped up, and he found himself looking down at his hands. He hated talking about the war and Order 66. He was getting better at talking about the rest of it, training Ezra, but that part was still a knife in his guts.

Did he even need to tell this kid? He wasn't here to hear Kanan's sob story. Bridger was clearly stressed and he'd come from a world where he had an entire temple, an entire order to support him. Not to mention the Grand-master of the order as a teacher. No, this wasn't for Kanan, it was for Bridger. 

"It doesn't matter."

Bridger's jaw set, in a very Ezra-like stubbornness. "Why?"

"Why What?"

"Why doesn't it matter? Why won't you tell me?" He crossed his arms. "The force brought me here didn't it? Here, not anywhere else."

Kanan scratched at the back of his neck. "Trust me kid, it's not something you want to have nightmares about."

Bridger bit his lip, clearly hesitating, but just as clearly still wanting to know. 

Kanan let out a breath, "Fine. In this world, the war didn't end until the end of 7958 CDC. Dooku was never assassinated. There was a sith plot. Dooku attacked Coruscant, crashed his flagship into it, and then before anyone could recover Order 66 happened. There were chips in the Clones, They were programed to turn against the Jedi." He held up three fingers. "Right now I know of three Jedi who I'm pretty sure are still alive." He ticked off the names. "Me, my student, and another resistance agent known as Fulcrum. I don't know her real name. I don't even know if she's female. She could have died since our last check in, and my apprentice is undergoing his trial, so it's possible it's just me left." Kanan swallowed, not liking that thought.  

"There's no one else?" Bridger's voice was very small.

"I know Master Obi-wan survived Order 66, because he rewrote the temple beacon telling everyone to go to ground. There could be others, but if they're still alive, they're in hiding."

Bridger was shaking his head, just little twitches, his eyes wide.

"I told you. It's not pretty. We lost the war. Everyone lost the war. What you described, I know it doesn't seem easy, but things could be a lot worse."

Bridger looked down at his hands, clenched in his lap, His voice came out as a mumble "okay."

Kanan mentally kicked himself. That clearly wasn't what this kid needed. His Ezra might need to learn some caution, but this one seemed to need a friend, or at the very least someone who could tell him he'd done a good job.

"Look I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm still not very good at this."

"It's okay." Bridger still wouldn't look at him.

"Why do you think the force brought you here?" It was the kind of question Kanan's own master had asked time and time again. Guiding him to find his own reasons for things, rather than quoting the code or some old philosopher. 

"I... You're probably right. Things could be a lot worse."

"But you don't like that answer?"

Bridger was having trouble sitting still. He fidgeted, rocking forward and back his fingers tracing patterns on his knees again. He shook his head.

Kanan raised an eyebrow. "You know it's okay to disagree with me, or any master for that matter."

Bridger glanced up then away again. "It's just, the people who disagree with the council, they all end up leaving, or--"

"Or what?"

"I don't know." Bridger's words were very quiet. "I've just heard things. Bad things."

Kanan ran a hand over his mouth. "Well, seems to me, this is the perfect time to talk about it. It's not like I can tell anyone." 

"I don't know. The council is angry at the senate, and the senate is trying to control us, and no one knows what the new order is going to do next. Everyone is scared there's going to be another war. I've only been Master Windu's Padawan for a few months but I've already heard about people building weapons, and stockpiling things, and Master Windu is just so busy. I don't want to bother him with nothing."

"Well, I can tell you this. He's your master. Anytime you're worried about anything, you can talk to him. It's not nothing. If he dismisses you, he's wrong."

"He's not wrong! He's the master of the Jedi order. Even Master Yoda listens to him." Bridger's voice broke on the last word. His tone was angry, but there were tears threatening the corners of his eyes. 

Kanan wanted to hug the kid, pull him in close, ruffle his hair before bringing him back to the ghost and cooking up a big meal for everyone. That was one thing that this Ezra had probably never experienced. That was... sad. He looked over at the door into the temple testing chamber. There was no sign of his Ezra. He wasn't sure how long it had been. Was Ezra gone for good? Had it been hours for him, or just minutes? Time always seemed different in places like this. 

Kanan slumped out of his formal posture. Then took a breath and stood. He made a show of stretching, and rolling his shoulders. Bridger quietly wiped away the shadow of his tears, before looking up at him with a practiced blank face. Well, that certainly wouldn't help things.

"You know, the reason I brought my student here for this test was because he nearly lost control. He was standing right on the edge and I wasn't sure how to help him. I'm still not sure. I just have to hope the force can help him and me both."

"It's important to trust in the force," Bridger parroted. 

"Yeah, well," that still wasn't right. It wasn't the heart of the matter. He ran a hand over his head, tugging at his nerf-tail. "Force, I wish Hera was here." He muttered to himself. She would know what to say. She knew how to bring people together, how to talk to them. Kanan, could act the part, could fit in with a bad crowd or play the tough guy, but beyond that..."

"Who's Hera?" The question was in that small, unobtrusive tone that could easily be brushed off. 

Kanan looked down at Bridger, and could so easily imagine he was Ezra, his Ezra, the street-rat turned smuggler, turned Jedi who wanted to protect a whole planet.

"She's--" How to even put a name to what they were... "She saved me. After Order 66 I was alone for a long time. I didn't use the force. I took odd jobs and moved around and drank to fall asleep every night. Hera, when I met her I knew she was special. Not like force sensitive, but her voice... She pulled me out of my spiral. She helped me see that I could still help people even if I didn't have the temple and the other Jedi. She showed me that I didn't have to always be the one running. Hera has lived an incredibly hard life, but she can still see the best in people. She believes that we can make things better. 

"Hera's the one who brought our whole crew together. First Chopper, and me, then Zeb and Sabine, and then Ez-- My student. They're my family. We are making a difference. A real visible difference."

He sighed and slumped back onto the floor, forgoing the formal meditation pose for cross legs, leaning back on his hands. "The thing is. I know this will sound crazy but I prefer it to what I remember from the temple. Back then, well, I was taken on as a padawan during the war. Sure we saved people, but mostly it was just working with the clones or battle tactics or fighting. I never got to see the people I helped, unless it was to visit a hospital or something. 

"Even before I became a padawan Everyone was scared all the time. It was lightsaber practice or focus on your lessons, and hope you didn't hear about anyone you knew getting killed that day. These days, sure there's a price on my head and I have a chance of fighting off inquisitors every few weeks, but I can come back to the Ghost each night and feel safe."

Bridger was watching him. He'd slumped a little, relaxing out of his rigid posture, but now he was chewing on his lip.

"Go ahead and ask. Whatever it is, I won't be offended." Kanan said with a wry grin.

Bridger hesitated for only a moment, "It's just, is that why you wear armor?"

Kanan shrugged, "Well, like I said I do get shot at on a regular basis, but..." He tried to remember when it had become a habit to reach for his bracers rather than just his civs. "Maybe. The war never really ended for me, it just changed venue." Force that sounded depressing. 

"Master Windu still has a set of armor in his quarters. I've never seen him wear it but..."

Kanan nodded, even though he wasn't sure what he was agreeing with. 

The silence stretched. Kanan watched Bridger for the first few minutes but it was clear that whenever Kanan's eyes were on him, he had a hard time relaxing. Instead he found himself looking at the closed door again, thinking about Ezra.

What if they had it wrong? What if the force hadn't brought Bridger here for some lesson. What if he was here to stay and they would have to open the temple in a few days when it was clear that Ezra wasn't coming back. What if he had to bring this kid back to the Ghost and introduce him as Ezra-but-not. Could Kanan have any hope of being the master that Mace Windu would have been?

Or What if Bridger was staying but Ezra came back? Would it be some kind of sick joke to brink back two of him? Could Kanan hope to teach two of him? Masters never took on more than one student, but back then, there had been a whole galaxy full of Jedi who could teach. Kriff, what was he going to do?

What if his Ezra and this one had been switched? If it was permanent then at least he could comfort himself with the fact that his Ezra would be looked after. He would have Mace, and the other Jedi, maybe even Master Depa as a sister-padawan. Maybe even himself, as a brother of the same line.

Kanan, wasn't sure what to think about the fact that Bridger had ended up as Mace's padawan rather than his own, unless...

He cleared his throat. "What about your brother and sister padawans, I'm sure you could talk to them?"

Bridger looked up from where he'd been tracing the edges of the floor stones. "Well, not really. My Grand-master is still alive, but she's retired, and there's no one else in my lineage."

Kanan frowned. "No one? Depa wan't Mace's padawan in your world?" His mind was spinning.

Bridger shrugged, "She was, but she died in the aftermath of the war. Master Windu offered to finish training her padawan, but he ended up leaving with the rest of the division. After that he said he wasn't going to train anyone else, like Master Yoda. That being grandmaster of the order took up too much time. That's why Master Yoda had to convince him to take me. I was about to age out."

Kanan flinched. No one had worried about aging out during the war. All that had been put on hold. They'd needed as many trained force users as they could get, even up to the point of recalling some of the older initiates who had been sent away. But he remembered the fear from before the war, the knowledge of that deadline, and how it could decide his fate, and the fate of all his friends. The knowledge that there were a limited number of masters, and in the end they were all competing for the same slots.

Then the rest of it sank in.

Master Depa had still died. 

Of course Bridger didn't know he was Caleb, he'd introduced himself as Kanan. That was who he was now. He'd never imagined meeting another Jedi who wouldn't understand his situation. Even a kid Ezra's age understood the aftermath of the war. 

What he didn't understand was the reason his counterpart had decided to leave. Did it have to do with Master Depa's death? Maybe if Mace hadn't offered to train him... If he'd been left masterless without a home... 

Kanan had seen other Padawans get stuck in limbo like that. With their master dead or missing, they had often been sent back to the temple. It was supposed to be their home, but it often seemed like there was no place for them. They drifted through the halls, directionless. There weren't even any classes for them to go to half the time, with so many of the instructors gone.

But again, that hadn't been the case. Mace Windu was the grandmaster of the order as well as being the grandmaster of his line. Having him offer to train the orphaned Caleb fit with tradition, and should have been an honor. And for mace to say he wouldn't take another Padawan, it must have been something big, not just a disagreement on philosophy.

"I'm sorry," Kanan said eventually, far past when the appropriate time to speak had passed. "I knew Depa Billaba. She was a very good person and an amazing Jedi."

Bridger nodded, "Everyone tells me that. I wish she was here." He glanced up then rubbed at the back of his head, "Ah, no offence." 

"None taken. Believe me, I wish she was here too. She always seemed to know just what to say. I don't think she ever ran into anything like this, but I don't think it would have startled her either."

"What do you think she would do?" There was curiosity in Bridger's voice.

Force, Kanan hadn't thought this much about his master in ages. He rubbed a hand over his chin, trying to remember a good example. "Well, she gave me a holocron once. It was during the war. I asked tons of questions back then. It got on most masters nerves, that I couldn't just listen to their lessons, but She liked it. She said it was important to question our traditions in order to better understand them. She said the Holocron would help me understand the role of "peaceful dissent" within the order and how our views changed over time."

"She just gave you a holocron?!" Bridger said with awe. "No one does that. Only masters give gifts like that and only to their padawans. That's not--" Bridger cut himself off. He leaned back, eyes wide. Kanan could practically see things falling into place. 

"You were fighting in the war, but you were still a padawan, so... Who was your master?"

Kanan nodded, confirming the boy's conclusions. "Master Depa Billaba. I used to be called Caleb Dume. I changed my name after the massacre."

Bridger swallowed. He looked down at his hands, then back at Kanan, then down at his hands again. "I-- I shouldn't be talking to you. You left. You're one of them..."

"Not here, I'm not." Kanan cleared his throat, forcing his tone to stay light. "I don't know why he chose to leave the temple but for what it's worth, here and now, I am a Jedi." The truth of the words rang in the force. Kanan breathed in the light as it surrounded him. Whatever happened that fact at least, wouldn't change.

The tension in Bridger's shoulders slowly eased. He took a slow breath and started talking, like he didn't even realize his thoughts were coming out as words. "I don't understand how you could leave. How any of them could leave. The Order is all I know, and I want to meet my parents some day when my training is done and I'm a knight, but that doesn't mean I would leave. Everyone says that the people who left just couldn't cut it after the war. They couldn't leave the fighting behind and so they went to find a new fight, but I met Master Obi-wan and he was nice. The last negotiation was only last year. Why wouldn't he come back to the temple if that was all it was?

His voice slowly grew stronger, like all his worry was forcing the words out.

"And the things Master Windu has been saying... This time I don't think it's just going to be a separation or a difference in philosophy like with the Corellian Jedi. They keep saying something has to give, like it's them or us. People keep talking like there's going to be another war."

Bridger was shaking, tears welling up in his eyes. This time Kanan didn't hesitate, he crossed the space between them and pulled Bridger into his lap. Bridger curled into his chest. It was like now that he'd started he couldn't stop, his fears muffled by Kanan's shirt.

"I don't want that. I've been reading all about them and I don't know who is right anymore. Everyone says they were wrong for leaving but they never say why. The people who left, they kept asking for the order to do things, for the clones, for the galaxy, but the council never answered. And that's how the last war started. No one believed that the sith were back and then they started killing people. This time it's not even Sith. I don't want to fight anyone. I don't want--" Bridger's voice broke as he held in sobs.

"Easy there, you're right." Kanan said stroking his hair. "You shouldn't have to fight anyone." 

Eventually Bridger ran out of words and managed to get himself back under control. Kanan didn't let him go or try to move away. He had a feeling the kid didn't get enough physical comfort, and it wasn't like he'd ask Mace for it, if he was part of his fears. 

Kanan tipped Bridger's head up so they're eyes met. "I'm not going to lie to you and say a war won't happen, but I promise you this, it's not too late to take another path. These questions you're asking, they're good ones. You should be asking them. I know they're not easy, but you are strong. You're a Jedi. I know you can do it." Kanan smiled, and couldn't help adding, "I think Master Depa would like you. Those are just the kind of questions she would ask. Maybe Master Windu just needs to be reminded."

Bridger slowly pulled away, rubbing at his eyes until his face was blotchy but his eyes were clear. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You're supposed to be negotiating with those guys right? You can't do that if you don't understand where they stand. You do understand, or at least you're starting to. Just keep asking questions and you'll find the rest."

Bridger took a breath and let it out slowly, in a meditative count. Kanan let the kid pull himself back together. Nothing was fixed, not really, but the worst was out in the air at least. Kanan really hoped that was the lesson Bridger was sent here to learn, because it was the best he had at that moment.

He looked towards the closed door. Still no sign of Ezra, but the force was all around them. Comforting the padawan had helped Kanan let go of some of his tension too. He matched Bridger's breathing, in and out, closing his eyes.

"Master?"

Kanan opened his eyes. He caught the last few inches of the door opening, Ezra ducking under it. Kanan stood.

"You made it. How do you feel?"

"Different but the same." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Kanan looked around. There was no sign of padawan Bridger. It had all seemed real, but the force was like that. Dreams seemed real too, while you were in them. Of course it didn't really matter if padawan Bridger was real in some other universe. He lived in this one. Still, he wished the kid the best.

Ezra proudly revealed a kyber crystal, and Kanan gave him the congratulations he deserved. He wrapped an arm around Ezra's shoulders as they turned to head back to the Ghost, and the rest of their family. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a bit rambly but half of it was written in the middle of the night, so *shrug*   
> I will say that my mind took off and built a whole world around padawan Ezra. I'm not sure if it will turn into a not-fic or a real epic but hopefully there will be more in this universe...


End file.
